Get Your Kids OFF the Screens!
I believe every parent has experienced the challenge, and sometimes frustration, of keeping their kids away from new technologies that previous generations did not quite understand. When I was a young boy, I remember my Mom and Dad telling us not to watch so much TV, or not to sit too close to the screen. I’m guessing their parents may have said something similar to them about using the radio too much. Maybe even our ancient ancestors warned their kids about staring at the cave drawings or hieroglyphics too long.
I remember my brothers and I finishing our homework, grabbing our baseball gloves and walking down to the corner of the street to sit on the curb and wait for Dad to come home from work. My Dad loved baseball and I’m pretty sure he loved playing catch with his kids. We would sit there and look down the street a couple of blocks, waiting to see the silver blue nose of our 1964 Rambler make a right turn towards us. The minute he rounded the corner, we would jump up and cheer. Dad would pull into the garage, run in the house, change out of his suit, grab his glove, and come out and play catch with us. An amazing memory.
So, how do we engage our kids with similar experiences in an age where distractions of the world are mere clicks away? I think it starts, as I guess it always has, by identifying areas of interest and activities for our kids that they will find more engaging and fulfilling than the devices. In a child’s early years, I believe this is easier, even though there are screens targeted at babies and toddlers. Some activities you can do with smaller children are taking them for a walk, taking them to the park, and playing with them in the backyard. Younger children love being outside to explore. When they are little, we are their world, so it is easier to control the environment and the experiences. That said, it is still tempting to use those toys and videos, whether you’re at home or in the car, to keep them distracted and entertained on trips, or while doing your job or getting things done around the house. I would recommend that you be aware of this habit as well and try to reduce the amount of time they spend watching screens.
So, how do we do our best to help our children manage these new and very powerful technologies as tools and not time sinks? We need to lead by example. And I believe it gets more and more difficult the older our kids get, as peer pressure and group inclusion enter the social equation.
How do you balance the need for kids to learn and manage technology for their future while keeping them from sinking into the quicksand of apps and algorithms?
1. Start them young. Control access to their devices. Don’t just leave them lying around the house. Put them up somewhere where they are not seen so your kids need to ask you for them.
2. Regardless of age, set a daily screen time budget. This includes you!
3. Let them earn more screen time by:
Doing chores around the house
Getting good grades
Displaying good behavior, or going above and beyond on their own accord
4. Challenge them to put their phones, computers, and TV’s away for an hour and replace that time with:
Ride a bike
Board games
Sports
Reading
Time in Nature
Music
Other Activities and Hobbies
And engage in these activities with them to build bonds, experiences, and memories!
5. Lead by example!
Don’t use your phone in the car!
Don’t use your phone at the dinner table!
Be present when your children approach you with a question or a request. Put the phone down and engage with them.
Be present when someone is conversing with you in public. Put the phone away and have a human interaction.
Tell your kids that you are reducing your screen time in favor of personal health and wellness.
Reading
Exercise
Silence, Meditation, Prayer
Call or meet with a friend
Take a walk
Ride a bike
Playing with your pets!
The key is making the effort and then being consistent. Set up a daily or weekly “device-free” time and stick to it much like you would set up a regular “date night” with your spouse or significant other. Make sure that you let others know, and that they make sure that their friends know, that during this time, devices are off limits. Make sure to turn off all notifications on the device so that you are not distracted by any buzzing, sound, or tone!
And if you are going to use screens, watch a movie or TV show together! But, all other devices need to go into a bowl where they cannot be used during the movie or TV show. And again, all notifications are turned off, or better yet, the device itself is shut off.
For additional information on methods to help you and your children manage screen time, I recommend visiting the American Academy of Pediatrics website at www.aap.org where they have several articles on screen time and types of screen time for kids. They also have an affiliate site www.healthychildren.org.
Also, Common Sense Media has some excellent resources on helping kids develop good screen time habits. www.commonsensemedia.org.
Changing screen time either for ourselves or our children will be an evolution not a revolution. There is a lot of behavior, and let’s admit it, addiction, that needs to be undone. It will feel weird at first not having that phone right next to you, but over time, you will be managing that device as a productivity tool, not as your entertainment companion.
Getting back to the story of playing catch with my Dad. We are coming up on the five-year anniversary of his death. I still carry one of the laces of my Dad’s favorite baseball mitt on a keychain, so I have a big part of him with me wherever I go. That memory had a pretty strong impact on me. And we can make similar strong memories with our kids outside of these devices.
GOTTA LOOK UP!